Special Preview #12: Affirming Reality Book

There are signs of desistance, just like there are signs of newly adopted sex rejection and social transition. This chapter shows you what that might look like for your child.

There are only two additional chapters planned for our book. One is the last DAP, but that chapter still needs quite a bit of work before we’re comfortable publishing any draft. Therefore, we decided to publish the last remaining chapter this week.

This chapter explains the signs of desistance. It is necessary because we observe that many parents miss the signs of desistance as it begins, since progress is gradual rather than sudden. There is no light bulb moment for the child, so it isn’t obvious to many parents. If the parents are fixated on the doom and gloom, they may miss it altogether. Therefore, it is often necessary for us to explain to parents that desistance is happening. However, since parents who just read the book will not have the benefit of one-on-one coaching, we want them to know what it looks like.

But, a few cautions as you read this draft.

First, we don’t want you to think your child is desisting when they aren’t. Every child manifests sex rejection and desistance differently. Not everything we list may apply to your child.

Second, some are great at hiding their social transition and lying to parents. The cult teaches the children how to hide things from their parents. What you think is desistance may just be a clever cover-up.

Finally, signs that may indicate desistance for a child whose parents use strategies that affirm reality do not necessarily indicate desistance for a child whose parents allow social transition and practice watchful waiting. It is very unlikely that a child will simply outgrow their sex rejection, cut ties from the cult, and desist on their own without a hefty dose of reality. Watchful waiting is not an effective strategy. It is a dangerous game of roulette.

Still, we would love for you to read this draft and give us your thoughts. It could be an editing suggestion or a thought about your experience.